Do Poker Players Tell Lies? Does The Bear Shit In The Woods?

There's a new foreign player at the Vic who has become quite a regular (I'm not going to write his nationality to spare any embarrassment he might feel at the following anecdote).

Once you start going to any card room for a while it doesn't take long before you get to know a few of the other locals/regs/pros/layabouts/chancers etc. After a while you feel like one of the boys, maybe you're a fellow shrewdie, hustling "tourists" out of their money. You're not some egg who just got off the banana boat are you? You're a face, just like some of these other long time players who seem to be showing you some respect and letting you into their secret world.

But are you?

It's the 5-10 game and Declan is in seat 9 and he is drunk. When I say he is drunk, he is lit up like a Christmas tree. Still, seeing as it's Declan, he is still playing good poker, even though it means he is playing wild and crazy instead of his usual granite style (when sober of course).

But even four sheets to the wind Declan is no idiot and in fact his wild and crazy drunken antics, which include bluffing pretty much every pot he enters, actually means that he is still not risking barely 1 or 2% of the money he has in front of him. Plus of course all the banter and witticisms are now twice as loud, but still quite funny.

Anyway, the new foreign player (NFP from now on) is in the game and, to my eyes at least, it's clear he is seeking Declan's approval. He is laughing the loudest at Declan's wisecracks and lapping up Declan's crazy bluffs. This NFP is also one of these players who loves to call raises with trash and then "outplay" his opponents. He likes to draw attention to this fact and several times already he has told the table that, "It's no secret in this club that I don't mind gambling".

I can't remember the pre-flop action (but there was bound to have been a raise), but all of a sudden Declan and the NFP are heads-up on an ace-high flop. Declan checks, the NFP bets £200 and now Declan makes it £700. While the NFP is thinking about the raise, Declan giggles and tells him that he raised "No look". The NFP asks him if really did raise without looking at his cards and Declan says, " Yeah, sure". The NFP calls.

There may well have been another bet at some point, but I can't remember. It doesn't matter as the conclusion of this story is that when it comes to the showdown Declan tables AQ whilst our foreign friend shows AJ for the second best hand.

"I thought you said you hadn't looked at your cards? That's why I called your raise", the NFP now whines. Declan, still giggling, says, "I lied, I did look".

The NFP is clearly shocked that somebody would lie at a poker game, I mean, gosh, that's outrageous. He tells Declan that he has undermined the integrity of the game (!). Really? Sounds more like you got hustled friend. Of course, if you even vaguely bothered to observe what was going on then you would have seen Declan look at his cards as soon as he was dealt them. But, if you want to believe what a poker player tells you then you run the risk of being made to look like a fool.

The upshot of all this was the NFP went on mega-tilt, at one point calling a check-raise from Jackie Barrs (sp?) who won the hand with queen-high (Q2 diamonds on a two diamond flop). And what did our foreign friend call all-in with? The almighty 75 clubs that's what. To be fair he did have six outs so moneywise it wasn't a bad call, but there was no way he could have known his pairing cards were good.

I mean, how often do you get check-raised when you are c-betting with 7-high, aka complete air (ok, I think there was an 8 on the flop, so he had a backdoor straight draw, but that was it), and you think, "Ok, I'll call off my last £250 with this" ?

I actually made a very questionable play against this guy considering how steamy he was playing. He has raised UTG and a bunch of us have called including myself with 89 hearts. The flop comes down two hearts and an 8. The NFP bets £200 and now after a bit of thought and a couple of sly glances to my left to check that the other players behind me didn't seem too interested in the flop I raised all-in to £1,200.

Everybody folded back around to the NFP who now made a comment about how I must have flopped top set, but, "Ok, I'll gamble with you". Wow, I reckon my fold equity must have been about 1%, maybe less, so maybe it wasn't really the best of plays getting it all-in with a pair of 8s and a 9-high flush draw. Considering that he thought that he was up against top set, but still called pretty swiftly, showed how much I underestimated the tilt factor.

Most of the time when you flop a pair and a flush draw in Holdem it's pretty standard to play it aggressively isn't it? But I think in this particular spot it wasn't the right move. How would all you eggsperts out there play my hand against somebody on triple-tilt?

Happily (for me) I made a flush on the river to win a nice sized pot. Even a blind squirrel stumbles across the nuts now and again etc.

Let's Hear It For Queen High

I remember reading about some big pot Doyle Brunson won off Johnny Moss with Jack high when Doyle called a big bet from Moss on the river because he correctly put Johnny on a busted straight draw.

Also, my mate the Champ told me about some sick call with Queen high against Erik Lindgren at the WSOPE last year. And, of course, Duthola's great call with Queen high in the big cash game at the Venetian during last year's WSOP.

I've always loved these sorts of stories and have always figured that I'm unlikely to make this kind of play owing to my super-nitty rockiness.

Anyway, last night at the Vic I played a pot in the £250 NL game which was vaguely similar to all the legendary coups above. I've just lost a small pot where I've thought the other player was looking to check-raise me, but I've gone and bet anyway and of course he has check-raised me and then I've folded pretty quickly, annoyed with myself for falling into his rather obvious trap.

I'm still hotted up when I look down at the powerhouse that is the QdJd so I make it £50 to play. Only thing is the UTG player who is short-stacked had actually already raised it to £30. Oops. Oh well, my raise still goes and I guess I'll swallow if the UTG now goes all in.

A couple of other players call and the UTG just calls my min re-raise. Four of us see the flop which comes down 10c 2c 9h. The SB checks and UTG bets £100 and now I make a dodgy call with my up-and-down straight draw (I told you I was steaming).

Action gets back to the SB and he now ships it all in for £575. Marvellous. UTG folds and now the action is on me. The SB is a little chinese guy that I have tangled with a couple of times. The first time was a hand where he completely out-played me and during that particular session he looked like a pretty strong player. The next time I played with this guy though, it was the complete opposite - he was terrible! Chasing every draw, playing almost every hand, playing any ace etc.

Anyway, I thought about it for a while and thought it most likely he had a flush draw, maybe 8c7c or Jc8c, that type of hand. I had noted that this player likes to gamble with his first buy-in, looking for a quick double-up. Of course, he could easily have had Ax or Kx clubs (even QcJc for the freeroll against me) , but, fuck, you know how it is when you get stubborn in a pot, you convince yourself that they have a particular hand and then you stick the chips in.

Turn is an offsuit 10 and the river an offsuit ace. We're both reluctant to turn our hands over.

"Nothing, I just had a flush draw", he says.

"Well, I've got nothing too, how big is your nothing?" I say.

He shows 5c4c. Sweet. Ship it etc.

Having seen his hand I figured my hand was a small favourite seeing as I was already winning on the flop, but it turns out that I'm a 49% dog.

I Love L.A.

Good games at the Vic are a bit like buses - you're waiting and waiting and waiting; just when you've given up along come two or three all at once.

I played in a good £250 PLO game last night and then sat in a blinding £250 NL Holdem game. The Holdem game was great all because of a super spewy bluff station from L.A. When I got in the game this guy had about £8k in front of him which steadily decreased as one by one the different players at the table picked off his bluffs.

To give you an idea of how good the game was I experienced a 3 grand swing from winning to losing back to winning which is unusual for me. I played KK really badly out of position at one point and lost a big pot to this guy, but still managed to come back and end up winning on the night.

This guy said his regular game was the $20/$40 NL at the Commerce. I've never played there, but my experience with this player only confirms all the good things I have read and heard about the Commerce. He's probably a winning player in L.A....

As an aside I noticed Gary the Armenian was collecting the £2.50 chips (these are for the half hour time collection of £7.50). Of course it slowed down the time charge as now the dealer had make change etc and at one point even had to ask another dealer to go to the desk and get us some more £2.50 chips. What reason would somebody have to take these chips and put them in their pocket?

I wanted to call him out on it, but Gary is a bit of a hothead and I didn't feel like getting into an argument. Instead I mentioned it to a couple of other players and a few of us "innocently" asked where all the £2.50 chips had gone when the collection came around.

Also in the game was Neil "Bad Beat" Channing, fresh from his Irish Open victory. It was nice to play with Neil again seeing as recently he has been playing only the monkey game or higher (the big games have been his regular feeding grounds for a quite a while now, not just since his Irish win btw).

I think Neil was a bit disgusted with me when I ironed out the L.A bluffer at about quarter to 3 in the morning and then immediately got up and left. To be fair to myself the L.A player got up as soon as he lost the hand and looked like he wasn't coming back, plus I had been intending to go at about 1.30 originally, but the game was so good I decided to stay another hour (I must stress I wasn't staying on just to "get out of it". I broke that bad habit long ago). Also when you have a 16 month old baby at home whom you have to look after in the morning it makes it tough playing til 5am like the old days.

Kenny Wong was also in the game and it was great to have him back and hear the banter between him and Neil about who was the better tournament player.

A New Low

So I'm playing in the £250 No Limit Holdem game at the Vic when the following occurs. One of those non-pots happens, one where the players check it down and basically there's a bowl of rice out there, or, in this case, the grand sum of £40.

With a final board of K Q J 3 3 a young American kid (good player btw) declares, "Nothing, I have 9 high". His opponent, a middle aged South African gentleman says, "Oh, I have 10 high". They turn their cards over and the dealer pushes the pot to the South African.

Of course all of you lot out there reading this have already spotted that both players are actually playing the board, so therefore it should have been a split pot. Why the American kid didn't notice I don't know, but if you've been playing for a while you get tired. The South African gentleman is one of those types of players who would have to be told. As for the rest of us at the table I guess we weren't paying much attention (any internet players reading have got to love that don't they? So much for live players being such keen observers...)

In fairness to the dealer, who should have noticed immediately, he was actually requesting to be taken off the table as he had already been dealing for two hours without a break in this particular game.

Anyway, as the next hand is being dealt somebody at the table now realises what happened and mentions that the pot should have been split. Everybody else at the table including the dealer realises too and he now informs the South African that he owes the American kid £20. In fact, the only player who is utterly oblivious to what has happened is this South African guy. He says that the hand is all over and that's that. Fair enough I suppose; it was a dealer error and he doesn't have to give the kid any money if he doesn't want to.

In fact, the American kid was kind of taken aback so I told him to get a ruling, because it also seemed like the South African wasn't taking the situation seriously at all. Unfortunately for the Kid the dealer called the wrong floor person over (wrong in the sense that he called another dealer over as opposed to an actual floor person who is properly authorised to give rulings) who then gave a ruling in favour of the South African (probably the correct ruling as it happens).

Anyway, the point is, to me, that it doesn't matter what the ruling would be, but basically everybody else at that table (Russian Alex, Fred, Gary Mills, Rick Gladding, a young Greek kid whose name I can't remember, and of course, myself) would have given the American Kid the £20 without another thought. I mean, maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but that South African behaved like a total dick, didn't he? (Just to make it clear - there wasn't a huge argument, the South African or the kid didn't make a huge issue out of it, there were no raised voices and all blood pressure remained stable etc).

I dunno, I was dumbfounded that somebody could be such a nit over twenty quid.

On a slightly different note, does anybody out there know why the blinds in the £250 Pot Limit game are £5-£5 with an optional straddle of £10 whereas the blinds in the £250 No Limit are £5-£10 with an optional straddle of £25? How come both games don't have the same structure? I don't get it. As you can tell, the no limit game plays a lot bigger than the pot limit game.

Declan

I have played poker for many years with Declan from the old £50 Seven card and £50 Round of Each days up to £250 Dealer's Choice and all the pot limit and no limit Holdem games these days. He was the first pro I remember being aware of - his tight aggressive style and table presence was certainly intimidating back when I first started going to the Vic.

What has always impressed me about Declan is his versatility and ability to change gears. Many players would probably just say he's tight and while he is pretty granite I've also seen him play pretty open. I remember a £250 DC game where he raised or re-raised pre-flop almost every hand (especially if Hyder had limped in or raised). I know a lot of the locals would find that hard to believe, but it's true.

Declan also has no problems grinding at smaller limits. While many players would feel embarrassed at having to drop down after playing big Declan feels no shame in having to play "smaller" if he has to. I can remember him playing the old £1,000 game (at one time the biggest game in Europe alternating between a round of PLO and London Lowball) - after winning a load of money for himself and his backer Declan was back to the coalface in the £100 and £50 games. It's this ability to grind which sets him apart from a lot of players.

One of the greatest strengths of Declan's game is the way he makes the stars feel good about playing. I've seen him fold for about two or three hours straight whilst all the time making jokes and wisecracks. All the stars seem to love his company and somehow they always pay him off in the big pots too.

Last night I played in a blinding £100 No Limit game with Declan which featured a Norwegian gentleman who routinely made it between £50 and £75 to go before the flop. Remember, the blinds in this game are £1/£3. Post flop the Norwegian would then continue to just bluff off his chips with hands like queen high etc.

I have to specify that this particular player was not some young internet hotshot typical of Scandinavia, but a drunk businessman who was just enjoying himself. I managed to win a pot with 9T clubs when by some miracle he forgot to raise before the flop and I was able get in cheaply and flop a flush.

Anyway, Declan pretty much folded every hand and somehow this Norwegian was completely oblivious to it and enjoying Declan's many witticisms during the course of play. After yet another hand where the Norwegian bet on the river and got called down by bottom pair (miles ahead of course) Declan looked at this fella's cards and said , "Hold on, you've got a straight - straight in the dustbin".

LOL Donkament Players

The following anecdote might end up being one of those you-had-to-be-there stories, but I shall try my best.

So all round good guy and solid player Paul "Muzza" Murrell is playing in the £100 game at the Vic and looking a bit short stacked. Like I said Paul is a solid player and has recently shown some good results in tournaments, so one would like his short-stack play in general.

Anyway, some new guy comes to the table and raises after a couple of limpers (Muzza being one of said limpers from early position) and gets a couple of callers. The flop comes down something like K T 7 with a couple of hearts. All check to the raiser who duly bets a pony. Back to Muzza who now check-raises all-in for £45. Other players fold and the New guy calls the raise of £20 and we're off.

Muzza being the good guy that he is says, "I've got a King". New guy says nothing. A black trey peels off on the turn and now Muzza quickly exclaims, "I've got two pair now".

For some reason I found this quite funny and burst out laughing. "Desperate times Hugo call for desperate measures" said Paul. Still, calling a raise with K3? I guess playing a hand like that out of position is a good definition of desperation (btw his two pair stood up to take the pot).

Paul took it in good humour and agreed that he'd been playing too many tournaments. To be fair it was getting late and everyone was looking to get out of it (myself included - I'm not mentioning any of the dubious calls I made in that same game, don't you worry 'bout that!)

Mind Boggling

The Vic now has an electronic list as opposed to the old board where you went up and scrawled your initials under whatever game it was you were interested in playing.

Sounds like a good thing and I guess it is. But (you knew there would be a but, after all I am a Vic regular and we are all known for our endless moaning) it's a load of rubbish.

In, say, the Wynn poker room in Las Vegas, you go up to the floorman and ask him to put you on their computerised list. He says, "No problem buddy, there you go", and that's it. Well naturally the Vic has to make a mountain out of a molehill and getting your name on the e-list now requires some sort of receipt with a bar code on it which you now swipe into an infrared-type-thingy-like-wot-they-have-in-sooopermarkets.

I mean, seriously, WTF? Did the higher-ups in the Grosvenor organisation think, "We better make it a bit of a hassle to go on the list, after all we don't want just anyone to have access to it, maybe terrorists will get their hands on it and then we'll have a serious situation on our hands."

Another consequence of this e-list is that you cannot now see any of the names on it if you are sitting in a game. Or how about this one? There's no facility for a Transfer list so various members of staff just remember it in their heads. Yes, I can't see that leading to any arguments...

To be fair, I was told that eventually the system will be tied into our membership cards, but I still don't see the point of that either. What if you've forgotten your card? What about if you're a guest and therefore haven't got a membership card?

I'm sure the new e-list will improve, and I know their hearts were in the right place, but still the mind boggles.

Talking of the mind boggling I saw an extraordinary hand in the no limit game. Pre-flop there were a bunch of limpers and then a raise. The action is on Michael Arnold who now goes all-in for about £400. Fold, fold and John with the cravat calls all-in for about £200.

Now I know all you Vic regulars are thinking, "Michael's got aces, maybe kings if he's feeling frisky, and this John geezer has made another ridiculous donation to the Arnold coffers".

But no! Mr. Arnold lost the pot to John's pocket 10s. "Oh right", you're thinking, "Michael went a bit potty with AK suited". Guess again, Mr. Arnold's hand was, in fact, the powerhouse that is.... 23 off-suit. Yes! I swear on my baby daughter's life.

Hugo the dealer took credit for Michael's super-flairy all-in move, by making an earlier comment that Michael wasn't up to the standard of play found in the £250 games these days.

JQ came over to have a look during the hubbub that is an all-in coup and his reaction of mouthing, "What the fuck?!?" when he saw Michael Arnold's hand said it all.

Apparently I'm a Slow Roller...

I've noticed there's a new regular at the Vic who seems to primarily play the 100 NLH game (this has a minimum sit down of £100 and a max of £600). He seems a bit eccentric and talks a lot and wears what looks like a cravat, I think I heard someone call him John, so that's what I'll call him.

Anyway I'm playing in this game and I make £11 to go UTG (blinds are 1/3 btw) with AA. Fold, fold and now John moves all-in.....for £600. Sweet, as Fred Carle would say. Everyone folds back to me and I obviously call with the boots.

As soon as I said call and moved my chips over the line (I had John covered btw) he flips up QQ. Now I guess this John is used to tournaments on TV or something, but I only ever turn my cards up in all-in situations like these in tournaments, not in cash games, and many other regular cash game players would do the same.

The flop comes down K J T, but I manage to fade his six outs and as soon as the river has been burned and turned I show my hand and then get told, "Nice slow roll".

Jeez, I know it sucks to lose a pot, and this John doesn't seem like a bad guy, so I guess he said it in the heat of the moment, but who out there thinks I slow rolled him? I would never do such a thing, even to a player I loathed and thought of as a complete and utter drak (there's a few candidates out there, don't you worry about that!).

I've been playing long enough at places like the Vic to know that I don't ever want to show my hand unless it's at the showdown. If John had outdrawn me I would've thrown my hand in the muck facedown and told him I had deuces or something; isn't this what poker is all about? Playing your cards close to your chest and all that?

When I first went down the Vic I used to show far too many hands, especially nut hands - I guess I wanted to be liked and crap like that. I'm still paying for that mistake now many years later.

On another note I'd just like to congratulate my mate Neil Channing for winning the £1,000 NLH freezeout - not only for the win, but his third big final in a row (Bristol Gala Grand Final and Blackpool GUKPT just recently). Surely his name is all over the GUKPT Grand Final trophy?

Mistakes Part 3

100 Pot Limit Holdem, the Vic. I have £1800 in front of me and I'm in the small blind (technically the small blind as the blinds are £3/£3 in this game). There's a raise and a few callers so I decide to call with 5s 6s.

The flop is 5 6 T with two diamonds. Ok, bottom two, shall I get cute and check to the raiser? Nah, this particular pre-flop raiser is not guaranteed to bet and a free card for all these schnorrers would be disastrous, so I lead out for £60. There's a fold and now Ashley Alterman, who's in front of the raiser, makes it £160. Everyone folds back to me. Shit, what have I run into?

Now I'm quite friendly with Ashley and respect his game. I'm pretty sure this respect is a two-way street (might not be, he could consider me a complete egg which is fair enough too). Anyway, the point is I know Ashley is not fucking around and I guess 99% of the time his raise here means a real hand. That's not to say he isn't capable of raising with the square root of fuck all here by the way. Plus he has about another £700 behind.

Oh boy, for him to have limped early position and then call a raise which then merits a raise on this flop, he must have either a set or straight and flush draw (like say, 7d 8d, which I'm a small dog to). Fuck, my hand doesn't look too good so I fold and decide to wait for a better spot.

Ashley being the mate he is flashes me the boots as he mucks his hand. Shit! I was miles ahead. Wow, he played those aces pretty sneakily, not like him at all. Why didn't he re-raise before the flop when the action had got back to him?

Why? Because he never limped in in the first place. He was the original pre-flop raiser, not the guy I thought it was. D'oh! Well, I deserve to lose for not paying attention. What a costly error. And I got what I was looking for which was action for my big hand, it's just that I thought the action was supposed to come from somewhere else...

The Vic famously used to have a "moody" rule whereby you weren't allowed to talk about your hand. Thankfully they got rid of that rule, but it has to be said that the floodgates are now truly wide open.

I refer to this as later on I had the dubious pleasure of playing in the No Limit game with Will who has taken talking about one's hand to new levels. I have to say I actually found it sort of amusing after a while, especially as he kept making 10-13 BB size raises before the flop only to always find sandbaggers waiting in the wings.

Quite often it was Ken Wong who has not been playing down the Vic too long yet has already accrued a load of good results in all the various daily tournaments. Will would make his standard huge pre-flop raise with plenty of chat about how great his hand was and then the action would get back to Ken who would then casually slide about £200 worth of chips all in. This must have happened about ten times and Ken gradually built his chip stack up to over a carpet just like he would have done in a tournament.

Every time Will would go into a huge dwell up and song and dance about he actually had a real hand and how could Ken do this to him, but every time he would fold.

There's another new player in the Vic who is quite vocal, but unlike Will this guy is pretty obnoxious. Neil Channing told me a good story about this loudmouth as I left.

It's the £250 PL game and Loudmouth is playing snug. He limp-reraises from early position and is heads up with the star in the game. The flop comes down something nice safe for an early limp-reraiser like say 5 3 3.

All of a sudden the waitress appears with Loudmouth's dinner. Now instead of taking a tenner off of his stack to pay for his lobster thermadore or whatever it is they all eat there these days the Loudmouth asks Neil if he can borrow a tenner! Hmmm, is that a tell or what?

As Neil said, it's a real nit's dilemma. Do you just swallow and pay up for your dinner there and then or are you determined to extract full value for your aces? Of course he could have just told the waitress he was in the middle of a pot and that he'd deal with her afterwards, but I guess his hand was so good that he got caught up in the moment.

Not a Great Spot

I played in yet another Omaha Hilo tournament last night at the Vic and found myself sitting in between Adam Heller and Tony Bloom. Marvellous, not what one would call a great spot. No wonder I never get anywhere in these stupid tournaments.

A funny moment occurred when the Lizard made a comment about the rugby which he was keeping an eye on during the comp. Some guy who I think was called JJ butted in and started telling Tony, "What, you didn't lay New Zealand like everybody else?" and so on. So this loudmouth wants to start telling Tony Bloom how he should be betting sports?!? The look on Ashley Alterman's face at this moment was well worth the £385 I paid for the tournament.

Poker Content

I played some poker at the Vic recently and got lucky in a hand. Super satellite for a seat in the EPT main event, 3000 starting chips, blinds are 25/50.

About the fourth hand in there's one limper and I raise to 150 in middle position with As Jh. Both blinds and the limper call. Flop comes A 7 5 with two spades.

They all check to me and I bet 500. Both blinds call with the big blind giving it a small dwell. The limper folds.

Turn is another 5 and they both check to me again. I look at my stack and think, "Fuck it, it's a dumb super satellite", and go all in. The small blind thinks for a while and folds.

The big blind now goes into the tank and folds his cards face up, saying, "It's too early, I can wait". His hand? A 7!

I Can't Believe It Part Two

I went to the Vic to play in a satellite for the upcoming EPT and of course it was an hour later than advertised in the brochure that I got from them in the post. That sort of thing is par for the course so I wasn't that bothered. At least I'll be all relaxed and definitely in my seat for the first hand. For some reason there is a rule in this country that if you're not in your seat for the first hand of a tournament you're out.

But wait! No longer. Since the general relaxation of some of the gambling laws it turns out that you can show up late Hellmuth-style for the comp and miss out those tedious early levels. Wow, progress at last.

That's not all. They're now allowed alternates in tournaments too, so you still have a chance to play if you get there late and the tournament is sold out. First they relax the dumb dress code and now this, soon you'll be able to buy the button...

Michael Arnold called me over as if he had something important to tell me. It turns out that he is a very good friend with big time pro Jeff Lissandro from way back in the day and that Jeff had a sob story for him. Apparently Lissandro wrote a couple of stories many years ago and gave them to a female friend to see what she thought. Nothing came of it and he forgot about it until Rounders appeared on our screens. According to Mr. Arnold, Lissandro claims that he wrote Rounders and was ripped off by this woman.

Michael felt compelled to tell me because I used to read screenplays and assess whether they were worthy of future development into full blown movies(it's called coverage in the trade) and naturally this must mean I have some clout in the motion picture business. I guess Michael doesn't realise that Hollywood treats it's writers with utter contempt and that being a reader is barely a step above that.

Now I'm not saying that Lissandro is wrong; maybe he did write it and some femme fatale stole his story. A quick glance at the credits shows that the writers were David Levien and Brian Koppleman. There's an associate producer called Tracy Falco and an executive producer called Kerry Orent although those names do not necessarily mean they are women. Why would you want to claim you wrote Rounders anyway?

I guess my next entry will be about the Vic as well as I'm planning on playing at least one event and some cash in their upcoming festival which culminates in the London leg of the EPT.

Wall Of Shame plus a few other Vic Ramblings

I went to the Vic the other day and noticed they've had a bit of a refurb. The colour scheme is fairly vile, but what is quite fun is a mural of the London skyline on the back wall. If you look closely you can see that it is made up of poker players' faces, a mix of Vic regulars and famous European and American pros. I must admit to feeling a bit left out that my pic isn't there considering I was at one time a pretty hardcore regular, but then again I hardly go there anymore at the moment and it's only my pathetic ego that's making me think like that, so what difference?

Anyway, I made a comment that it reminded me of that portrait of Myra Hindley by Marcus Harvey that was made up of children's handprints which caused a furore at the Royal Academy a few years ago and naturally some wag made a joke along the lines of the wall painting in the Vic being more evil as it was full of thieves, rapists and murderers. Some other wit then made a joke about the mural actually being a picture of everyone that Brian Stander owes money to. Hmmm, maybe I'm glad I didn't make it onto the Wall of Shame.

As I was waiting for a seat I sweated Willie Tann as he played in the £250 plo game. I received a masterclass when he raised before the flop with 3 4 5 6 double suited (diamonds and clubs) and then bet the pot when checked to on a K T 9 flop which contained two diamonds. His only caller was Lisa Hawkes out of the small blind. The next card paired the board and Lisa checked. Willie quickly looked at the £375 he had left and then bet £150. Lisa ummed and errred and made a comment about how that bet scared her more than if Willie had bet the pot. Willie replied that he wanted her to call of course. After more hesitation Lisa called. The river made no difference and Lisa checked again and now Willie went all in. After a long dwell up and some good verbal from Willie along the lines of, "You can see my hand afterwards if you want" Lisa finally folded. Ok it's all standard stuff, but it was a good reminder that you need to leave yourself enough money to bluff with on the river. Plus all the excellent moody which was highly convincing. Willie could tell that Lisa was conflicted and leaning towards folding, but something was telling her that maybe her hand was a winner; he just encouraged her in the right direction (for him).

All this moody got me thinking me that one negative aspect of poker is how we all become two-faced bastards. How many times have we become friendly with a live one? Commiserated oh so sincerely when the star has done his chips? "Unlucky, you're just running bad" and all that sort of shit? I say all this because later on I found myself talking with a player (who I like incidentally) about a mutual friend of ours and he started going on about how our mutual friend was a terrible loser. As I heard myself agreeing I suddenly realised I was actually chatting to one of the worst losers of all time! This is a player who if he goes behind just a tiny amount steams like crazy and starts chasing like you wouldn't believe. Did I say, Hold on _____, you're a much worse loser than ol' so and so? Nah, of course not.

I'm now reminded of another Vic regular who once said to me that he thought he was a really disciplined player. I nearly choked on my cup of tea. This was a guy who was a known card flinger and whose emotional state can best be described as 98% tilt. He always blamed it all on bad luck, not actually realising that continually chasing your losses by raising out of position in the blinds when several other players who know you are completely cracked up have limped in is not what most reasonably good players would describe as "disciplined".

Speaking of disciplined, DY was there and he was telling me all about the e-poker table at the new Ladbrokes Casino down the road. Of course it's faster and you get loads more hands and all that malarkey, but I hope it doesn't take off. Maybe I'm an old fart, but it just wouldn't be the same. And just so you don't think I'm a Luddite I remember being quite excited about internet poker when it first started. Anyway, I then noticed that several regulars were missing - Declan Devereux, Michael Arnold, Fred Carle and Alan Abrahams. Maybe they were all down the Ladbrokes getting the lot...

I Love The Vic

So my girlfriend and baby went away for the last few days and what else is a guy with time on his hands to do but spend all that time down the Vic? The room is now all upstairs, but otherwise it's business as usual. There were some new dealers, but the core staff were still there - Joe, Caroline, Brian. Many familiar faces were there - Fred Carle ("Sweet"), Declan, Michael Arnold ("One seat here!"), Willie Tann, Trevor Cole, Ashley Alterman, Panni, Lawrence Windish, Lou K, The Champ (of course, it's now her second home basically), Andrew Georgiou (who wasn't wearing a scarf - it must be summer!), Pedro, The Bish, Costas, Martin Baader, Mick "The Clock" Cook, John Kabbaj, Janis and her mother, Peter Benson, David Binstock, Mr. Chu, Alan Abrahams, JQ, Rick Gladding, Mike Wilner, John Duthie and DY to name a few.

I assume they all asked where I have been because they all miss my brilliant repartee and company at the table rather than the ease with which they can win pots off me. There are also a few new stars who I won't name out of politeness and discretion. As usual everyone was bitching and moaning about their favourite cardroom. There are at least two new waitresses since I last paid a visit. The games are as good and as tough as ever. They seem to have a regular £100 no limit holdem game going which has a maximum sit down of £600. Why there is a cap on this and not one on the pot limit game I don't really understand. Yes yes I know that management don't want the punters to do their money too quickly, but if you think it can't go fast in the pot limit game then you better take up scrabble or something.

Everything is Holdem now - I briefly played in the pot limit Omaha game, but it kept fluctuating between full and five or four players with no real list. Twice I saw Murray Brown and Ray the Taxi Driver sitting around forlornly waiting for the Dealer's Choice game to start up, but that's another game that seems to have died. It's a shame really as at one time those were good games. It seems all the Omaha/DC players like Sirhan, Ali, Celim, the other Ali, Mason and Hyder and a few others have all been gobbled up by the Western. I hear that Hyder is barred which could be the reason that the Dealer's game isn't running at the moment. One of the dealers told me how much he hated dealing the Omaha because all the players were such "miserable bastards". Hold on, I resemble that comment. Joking aside, he might have had a point. You know the Omaha game is dead when even a stalwart Omaha player like Mike Wilner says that you just have to play Holdem now. Having said all that there was a blinding Omaha game on monday night that was still going strong when I left around 4am.

I witnessed an interesting incident between a pro and a star in the £250 plh game. On the turn the pro bet £500 and the star, who was quite vocal and animated, called. As he was calling it looked like he may have flashed his cards. I was standing nearby and saw nothing. I'm trying to say it looked accidental to me, but I could be wrong. The pro now protested that the star had exposed his hand to the player next to him and asked for a ruling which he got in his favour. The pro gave the star back his monkey, but took the rest of the pot. The star was quite upset and nearly left the game. I think it was poor form and bad for the game by the pro to get this ruling. I guess the pro could not have had much of a hand as he was unhappy at the star calling (for starters, why is the pro trying to bluff a star? Obviously a bad play against a known non-believer). The pro should have taken his lumps and not made a fuss. Plenty of opportunities to get the money back plus more from the star during the rest of the game.

Here's a hand I played from the £100 plh game. I limp utg with pocket 6s. The next player raises the pot and a load of us call. £75 in the pot. Flop comes Kc 6d Qc. The blinds check and I lead out for £50. Folded around to Alan Abrahams on the small blind who now raises up to £200. Sweet. Unusually I had Alan covered - I had about a Grand and he had £340 left. I raised again to £400. He called. Turn is the 4c. Great. I bet out of turn by mistake (basically I knew his last £140 was going in no matter what - there was about £900 out there) and he called. Last card was another rag club that didn't pair up the board and he wins with 8c 7c. Nice hand Alan. Oh well, I guess I was looking for action with my hand and I got it.

A great new development is that they now give comps for the restaurant to regular players. JQ and I had dinner at the pleasure of the Vic. I couldn't believe it. Also on sunday at around 5pm the waitresses bought around a load of free finger food, spring rolls and stuff like that, for all the players in the card room. WTF?!? The Vic are being nice to the poker players, wow. If they're really on the ball they'll introduce player's cards like in the States (I know they're doing this at the new Empire Casino in Leicester Square). I wonder how long it will take management to go in that direction? At least ten years after every other casino in the country no doubt. I can already hear Jeff Leigh's response.

I love the Vic and it's regulars. It's still the only cardroom in the British Isles where you are guaranteed a (legal) cash game from 2pm every day. Everybody moans constantly about how badly the room is run, but I don't see them going anywhere else. The Vic should count themselves lucky that all the new rooms springing up around London are run by people that don't understand poker - they all think it's about tournaments. Deano who was an excellent dealer at the Vic now runs the new room at the Empire. If anybody can give the Vic a run for it's money it should be him.

Rohan = Forrest?

So I was watching an old movie on TV this afternoon, A Letter To Three Wives, when the following scene occurred. A sassy maid and her friend are playing seven card stud; the maid goes all-in and her friend makes a crying call, "What ya got?" "Ace High" "Ace What?" "Ace Nine", the maid says triumphantly and indeed her kicker is good.

This reminded me of a few years back at the Vic when all of a sudden Francis Rohan turns around excitedly to me and Adrian Holmes from the next table where he was playing what was probably one of the last seven card games in there. "I just called a pot sized bet after cards and won with deuces! Deuces! Ask Beebis! You can't bluff out old Francois, eh? After cards with deuces! I'm different gravy, eh? This lot will all be eating catfood soon", he gleefully told us.

This in turn reminded me of a pot I saw on an ESPN broadcast of the $1,500 buy-in WSOP seven card tournament from 2004. Ted Forrest finds himself heads up against Chad Brown and there's a pot where he checks and calls a bet from Brown on every street. When all the dust has settled Ted's pair of deuces are good. Ted went on to win the bracelet. So the point of all this is obviously that Ted Forrest is at least as good as Francis Rohan aka Simply The Best.